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welcome
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There is an inner beauty about a woman who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of anything that she puts her mind to. There is a beauty in the strength and determination of a woman who follows her own path, who isn't thrown off by obstacles along the way. There is a beauty about a woman whose confidence comes from experiences; who knows she can fall, pick herself up, and move on
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information
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im down
Monday, November 10, 2008
im pretty shallow.i am seriously. not sayin i am one. but my mood,oh yes! i have alot of things goin on within me really... where do i start? i felt people said they are your friend.. they cheering you up and things like that and wanna be there for you when you are down and every here and then but DO THEY TREAT YOU AS REALLY AS THEIR FRIEND? IM pretty wondering it myself after all,how do you count friendship ? im bloody pathetic?!i know i do. my life seems perfect. everything it looks fine. everybody judging me the way i am. are they even trully? why when i get really down... i scroll down my phone contacts.. i try to call people i thought i could just try to release my pain too i M JUST receiving.. "im up for something.." "im doing something.." "bye.." a rejection..or a feeling i just dont belong..not there..not here i come to a point that i dont have anyone when i get really down. when i just cant seem to pretend anymore. which made me ended up with some strangers? fuck,im smiling,everyday in my life. i seems always fine,i can laugh... im not acting.. i pretty cool when i m laughing and behaving things are normal but everyday in my night, i m alone i m really alone. no matter how much tears shed,i cant fill the emptiness i felt. something is missing somewhere.i dont know what is that. im searching.i really searching. and if you are not my friend,please save ur concern. really..i dont need that. i take it more to a pity and insult. all i need,wheres my oldies? wheres the person that i can just behave the way i am. who doesnt judge who am i? who can laugh all the lame jokes i made. and dont scold the wrongdoings i ve done. and not throwing a disgust look when i ve done something stupid or behaving in any judmental way. i dont wanna face the world that filled with emphaty hypocrite,courtesy where im suppose to behave this way that way where i need to be righteous where i must behave more mature where i cant spit or utter any jokes which just because i dont belong they think is not funny so what?after i write this u think im really pitifull? i care my face too much that i starting to lose myself. i admit i m alone. and i always be the loner. is not like i dont know that im just a stranger to everybody i really need you. i ve been searching for you i ve been contacting you i couldnt seem to find you why cant u appear like how it used to be.. why we are seem so far where are you.. please,i miss you dearly my friend
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message
I figured i need silence. |