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There is an inner beauty about a woman who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of anything that she puts her mind to. There is a beauty in the strength and determination of a woman who follows her own path, who isn't thrown off by obstacles along the way. There is a beauty about a woman whose confidence comes from experiences; who knows she can fall, pick herself up, and move on
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information
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emotionaly. physically.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
DO YOU FEEL ME? these feelings that has lingering in me for sometimes not those biggie thingy happen that left me with biggie impressions it just those nosey smal thing here and there causing me to feel nauseaus lets start with those worry thoughts that not yet leave me,- though its new year. lets recall things like "family?" why does family never fail to give me a sense of losing myself? it makes me believe its imposible to have a genuine family. ** people. who know nothing but judging as if they know everything. its hard to admit it agaisnt my ego to admit that im a victim of bully. ** it gets outta hand,i start to lose my self esteem,my morale,my purpose of life and all i could think "how wonderful if i could just die without fear of pain." and then i look back,- if i left ..so many undone thing left untouch ..worsen the situation of home,causing harm for my lil brother ..lastly,how does he will survive the chaos? i picked up the left over strength i have and face tommorow. but the scars left.. the wound stil bleeding profusely > i forced my smile, i laughed on people's joke and my own jokes.nothing funny. yes its so funny that i could laugh while feeling everything so sour. thankgoodness its a total new environment they dont know me. they just know me for who i am there in front of them. and i could feel less worry because they wont ask you "are you allright?" ** all i can do, forced myself to move foward. drown myself in work. i work harder then people know. i focus more than anyone who give their heart to work. then again someone's jeolously try to crush me down. ** my pilar seems to be weaken. and i refuse to lean on im not gonna let us fall together and so i stood myself look afar.... ** people i thought dear in my heart, suddenly seem beyond my reach. suddenly i felt so lonely. alone. stress.. money, works, how people look at me, upcoming future.. everything start to bring me down it seems i lost control of my life it doesnt pace according to my regime i hope i could see a lil light in the middle of my darkness. i hope this period will over soon.
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archives
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message
I figured i need silence. |